lose weight

I am going to the gym regularly and I wish want to lose weight, but I also love to eat. Or I eat because of need / boredom, munchiness something to do, seeking comfort. but it looks soo sooo bad when i weigh myself with sneakers clothes on! I am over 165 with no clothes on. yikes that is way too much i can’t believe it. Yet I see women who are more chubby than me, but then I say hey I am not that much different. why are we all so fat? It is a melancholy summer afternoon after the rain.

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Weight

I weighed myself and it was a horrible unGodly amount. So now I have joined PlanetFitness gym and went today after class. but I also got 2 pizzas for One – which is a weird phrase and conundrum and am eating both!! I swore off carbs altogether except for veggies. Hello celery! ok fall off the wagon. stick to soup from now on. 

Royal Trifles

My plan was to make a trifle today in honor of the Royal Wedding, but then I realized as I was looking for the ingredients to buy that I could just buy similar prepared food for cheaper and then I wouldn’t end up with the leftovers that I would eat for days and ruin the diet I am try trying very hard to keep to. No carbs basically. cut down on most everything. cup of soup for lunch and one for dinner and fruits and veggies and proteins.

The royals they are never truly alone. There is always a servant somewhere, in the room or next room, who is monitoring what is going on – how sad really. While I spend alot of time alone. I live alone.

My goals this year have been to stop talking to myself and to stop talking to my cats. First the talking to myself is just chitter chatter. and I want to quiet my mind more. The cats do not need for me to vocalize, they know what I want and am thinking without me saying it out loud, so that is just for my benefit which I dont’ really need.

I can find distractions so easily. I get bogged down in details, in patterns. I have great start up energy and enthusiasm. I am not so good at following through though I have learned so much in my adult life in how to do that. I have improved.

Guess here is alot I am thinking about “I” today.

A very windy day. God does not “make”wind or bad weather or tornadoes or bad economics because people don’t pray in schools. That would mean that God is petty and a tyrant or egotistical. That is a projection onto God.